Sometimes it just feels better to eat the lemons than make lemonade.

I am the ultimate optimist.  I usually see the big picture. Sometimes I can't see the trees for the forest. However, when bad things happen I just don't want to "look on the bright side". Friday I received bad news twice. I called my husband, Al, and snapped. He listened and offered some solutions to the problem. I just didn't feel like being positive. I wanted to complain and that is okay. 

When I first was introduced to the idea that our words create our reality, I monitored my thoughts and tried my best to only speak positivity. It drove people crazy. 

On Friday, I wanted to shout to the media how unfair the situation was. After plotting to revel my anger to the world and vowed revenge to the wrong doers; I got over it. Not immediately. It took a couple of days I got over it. I knew in the back of my mind during my fits of rage that this too shall past but I needed my moment. I recently heard Iyanla Vanzant say " A wound needs a witness." 

I believe that one of our basic needs is to feel validated and our feelings are important. Expressing that in a safe environment is crucial. We need to release to negative feelings because when suppress them and act like everything is ok, that negativity will manifest in other aspects of our life. 

Then once your release those feelings and you get past the hurt, you will discover how resilient you are. I always say,if I can have a baby, I can do anything. We all have something that we survive maybe this your arsenal to prove to yourself how awesome you are. 

So maybe you are going to make lemonade from the lemons. First you need to deal with the lemons. You need to slice and squeeze the lemons before you add the sugar. 

Just for Fun!

When starting on this path to create the life your love, the first step is to get clear on who you are and what you love. Where do you begin? The first step is to focus on what you do want to accomplish. There are many books and articles that advised to “follow your passion” How can you follow your passion when you don’t know what that is. The reality for many of us that our passions were not nurtured or cultivated because others told us that we need to (blank) to get a real job. So if your passions were not cultivated how we know what we love for majority of our lives we are not following our dreams.

I have had clients tell me that when they have free time what they love to do is lie on couch and watch marathons of the Golden Girls or Law and Order. That’s not your passion. That is escapism. When you are spending 8 or more hours a day doing something that you do not love, or worse despise; your energy is drained. There is no surprise that you do not “feel” like doing anything.

A famous quote from Albert Einstein is “Nothing happens unit something moves”. To move towards finding your passion it takes one step. Do something fun!  Whatever it is just do it, without expectation or results. Something amazing will happen. In 2003, I decided that I wanted to learn how to dj. I was a radio dj on WFSK but I did not know how to mix. I bought turntables and a mixer, and then I started buying records. One day as I was leaving the record store, a local dj saw me with my brown bag of records. He asked me what I was doing record shopping. That sparked a conversation that eventually launched me into djing professionally.

It sometimes can be overwhelming and scary to follow your passions. Start with something small such as going to the record store or hobby store, you will begin attract people or circumstances that will lead you to next step
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Lessons from the Eagles

I had recently came across an article describing how an eagle makes a nest for its babies and found it very fascinating.  When a mother eagle builds her nest she starts with thorns, broken branches, sharp rocks, and a number of other items that seem entirely unsuitable for the project. But then she lines the nest with a thick padding of wool, feathers, and fur from animals , making it soft and comfortable for the eggs.

As the chicks grow, they move around in the nest and gradually displace the softer bedding. At some point the softer material is scattered away, and only the thorny foundation remains, making it quite uncomfortable for the chicks to stay in the nest. Thus they are motivated to flap their wings and take independent flight, as they are meant to do.

Sometimes when we are faced with uncomfortable circumstances, this might be a sign for us to flap our wings and soar . Just as potted plants need a big enough container to grow.  Now this doesn’t mean to fly away from every uncomfortable situation, however use it as an opportunity to expand. However, it's best to get smart and choose to move "out of our comfort zone nest" and become motivated about and involved.   This can be done right where you are.  The answers are always within.

Take Action!

Here are some tips that will help you and get in the flow of life.

• Discover your desires. Start by looking through books, magazines or catalogs for pictures, phrases, titles, headlines, or single words that tug at your heart.  Some dreams  may seem unrealistic . Let yourself dream big!
• Say Yes! If someone invites you to something or you if you come across an event that you would never do, try it. You never know who you would meet, or how you will be inspired
• Give ! Time, money , knowledge, etc. The rule of life that I have learned that is what you give to others you give to yourself.

Have a great day

Be Flexiable

Nothing in the world is more flexible and yielding than water. Yet when it attacks the firm and the strong, none can withstand it, because they have no way to change it. So the flexible overcome the adamant,    the yielding overcome the forceful.  -Lao Tzu


One of my strengths that I have always been aware of is my aptitude to be flexible. I usually can "go with the flow". It always amazes me how some people get stuck in a state resistant to change, or challenges to their perspective on how things "should" be. Now I am not the most adventurous person, I usually play it safe when it comes to taste in clothes, food etc. However, I am referring to becoming flexible in life. 

I used to work with an older woman who resented whenever management would implement a change in processes or systems. She would complain and become known as the old woman scared of technology. Well, that what's being inflexible is fear.

Fear of the unknown. Fear of failure. Fear of what others might think. 

Fear can rob you of opportunities and experiences that can be enriching and life changing. Fear is a self sabotaging agent that holds you back from your greatness. Inflexibility is the outward expression of fear. My former co worker was passed up for many promotional opportunities because of her reputation, she didn't realize that she had only hurt herself . 

When you find you especially resistance to stop, breath and ask your self. What am I really feeling? Is it true? What's the worst that can happen? When you stop and ask yourself these questions, this gives you a chance to think before you react. You may discover that the change may not be that bad and possibly for the better. 

Welcome

 I decided to write a blog about another passion and interest of mine which is inspiration. I have always been fascinated by inspirational and spirituality. Please note this is different from traditional religion, which at one point I was a little turned off from. I never became atheist, I always had a relationship with God. I just did not like "churchiosty" . To me the church was hypocritical and promoted separation. I always believed that God loved everyone and the messages that I was receiving from church was the opposite. The rules and attitude of the church seemed more important than the message.

This became a conscious decision when I went to college in Nashville, TN and attended a local church. I never felt more unwelcome then at that church. It was very "high brow". If you didn't dress a certain way and believe and act like the "holy rollers" you were not accepted. My immature mind assumed all churches were liked that and didn't pursue to find a church that fit .  More about that later.

In 1997, I was introduced to what I now know as New Thought spirituality through a book called In the Spirit by Susan L Taylor. I read that book a million times. Of course there are no coincidence  but that year Fisk invited her to speak during homecoming and there was a book signing. I was elated. I didn't really understand how we attract circumstances to our lives. That book resonated with me. It just felt right in my heart that the information that was given, I already knew. For me it was the truth. I later discovered Iyanla Vanzant who was appearing on the Oprah Winfrey Show every week and I loved it.

After I graduated college, I wasn't into my New Thought practices as much . I kind of strayed and my life reflected it. I was lost but thought I knew everything. But subconsciously I had a lot of work to do. I attracted so much negativity that I am still paying for those mistakes to this day. I desperately wanted a good paying job to get a place on my own. I started working at SBC. I made more money that I have ever have to this day. But I accumulated more debt than I could earn, and have nothing show but a 10 year old Sony trinitron that I bought open box from circuit city.

So after a whirl wind of adventures, I came to a dark place in my life. I can say that I have only been depressed per the DSM V twice in my life and in 2006 this was the second time. I was laid off my job and could find another to save my life. Twice I interviewed and the hiring person got up and left the room. I was ganging weight and my hair was falling out. I was a hot mess. My so called friends abandoned me. My mother was going crazy. The only constant was my boyfriend now husband. He stayed by my side during that entire time. One night I was flipping through the channels and "something" made me stop and watch Dr Wayne Dyer's PBS special "The Power of Intention" and it changed my life.  Wayne Dyer gave me my manta" Change the way you look at things and the things yo look at change" . This opened the door to Hay House and the Secret. (I will you later how I got on Oprah by using the Secret twice and one episode was The Secret episode) .

This was just supposed to be an introduction and I have so much to share. So please watch the video for Wayne Dyer's the Power of intention. I will post more about how I am evolved and evolving…